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Are your decisions influenced by the views of people?

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

- Like, do you think, "log kiya kaheen gay", before making decisions in your life, even small decisions, or it does not matter to you what people are going to think or say and you do whatever you want?

- How much does the views of people effect your decisions?

- What do you think is the best approach? To consider the views of people, or not to worry about what they are going to think about you and your decisions?

Tags: Decisions Views People Lifestyle

Asked by: Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago | Answers: 7 | Views: 3859

Answers

4 votes

Sumi | 15 years ago

It depends on many things: the situation, the topic, the people who are directly involved, etc.
I feel that our decisions are somewhat constantly influenced by many factors and people around us (though we might not like to admit this). It does matter what others think, but most importantly what matters is who those 'others' are and how they (can) affect you or your loved ones. I like to listen to people's point of view and try to understand the logic behind their arguments, try to grasp their reasoning and see whether what they know/have learned can be useful to me. People's sincerity and honesty matters as well.
I generally try to make my decisions based on: what my religion teaches me, what those close to me have to say and what the society (societies) I am part of has to say on a certain topic. My decision might have as much of an impact on others as much as their replies/point of views have on me. We have different kind of duties and different level of duties towards Allah, ourselves, our family, our neighbours, our relatives, the society we are part of, Muslim, mankind, ... and I would not like to ignore those.

Obeying (and thus sacrificing) is also part of decision-making. In the end, it is all about your intentions: whom do you want to please or help with your decision?

This answer has been edited by the user

Answered by: Sumi | 15 years ago

Comments

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Very right. But, I was wondering, do you think "log kiya kaheen gay", before making some decision. Like some of the times, you do not want to hear about what they are going to say, but directly or indirectly, it does affect your decisions. It’s like, if you do something against their views, and you succeed, they are look, "hmm theek hai", but if you fail, they are like, "hum nay tu pehlay he kaha thaa, humay tu pata thaa etc". What my question is, they spend a little time thinking about us, or our decisions (like may be 5-10 mins only), why shall we make decisions on their views?? Change our whole life, because they think bad about us for like 5-10 mins from their lives? And I am not talking about parents and loved ones views. They matter a lot.

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

You are talking about "outsiders" well there the society thing comes in, I dun like to share personal experience openly but since It can help any one else or you so sharing it.
There was a time when I had to take such a decision, I had these people in my life who can never think good for me and I wanted to step back but my society was forcing me to stay with them, I stepped back bcz they dun worth me at all. So at times you have to go against the norms.

Zainab Hussain | 15 years ago

Yeah, this is what I mean. Why shall we make decisions when it does not matter to them, about what are we doing. Because, all they have to do is to back bite and discuss our/other's problems. They have their opinion, they have a right to make one, but that doesn't mean they have a right to impose one.

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

The only thing to get rid of this is, STOP CARING whatever they say/think of you. #personalexperience : )

Zainab Hussain | 15 years ago

I'd agree to most of that other than the part about pleasing someone :p I know its only inevitable that you have to take certain decisions to please someone but I thin one should try to make decisions based on impartiality. I try to do that most of the times and they sometimes get you embarrassed but there is a certain joy and satisfaction you get from doing that. but you have a comprehensive pint of view about it I must say.
So +1 :)

Awais Amjad | 15 years ago

@ Munahil: See, there will be always such kind of people and pleasing them is pretty much impossible. Considering their point of view - even if they did not put much effort - might be still important, because most of the people wouldn't spend hours on thinking what is best for you - thus, those 5-10mins perhaps reflect our society. Besides, it could be that some people manage to say the most essential things in just few minutes and don't need to think that much, because they have seen/experienced it themselves...Other thing is, if you are supposed to make a decision on a matter which is very 'important' to you, you don't need to go and share that matter with such kind of people (people you don't find sincere enough). It's your life and you choose people with whom you would like to discuss your personal matters. What the 'others' don't know, they cannot give any suggestions on that topic either. Don't you think or am I missing something?
@ Zainab: I won't suggest anyone to stop caring, rather learn to set priorities.
@ Awais: thanks :) Oh tell me, can one be impartial without being indifferent?

Sumi | 15 years ago

yw :) I dont think its possible and thats why I mentioned that it has the potential to get you embarrassed. and well being ideally indifferent is kinda impossible too, so its like a double paradox :p But I'd still like to believe that i try to do that :p

Awais Amjad | 15 years ago

I dun think people who just think evil for you should be in ur priorities, the more u care abt wht people say/think abt you, the more u get worried ad negative. Keep good people around you, it will make your life easy, happy and positive !

Zainab Hussain | 15 years ago

@ Awais: lolz
@ Zainab: okay, if we are talking about evil people, then of course - stay away from people who cause you harm rather than benefit you. Though, I feel at times one does not necessarily have any other option....Stay in the company of good people and get your share of positive energy. :)

Sumi | 15 years ago

Sorry for the late repliess..
@Sumi: Yeah, those 5-10mins are their point of view. But, it’s like, may be they have experience in that, but not exactly as we had. Like, things change. For example, if one did something some time back, and you have to do it right now, although they had some good/bad experience with that, but it does not mean that you will face the same. Like giving advice is fine, but imposing it, or becoming rude if you do not follow it is wrong, I think.
@Awais: You can/should be impartial/unbiased while making judgmental decisions, otherwise it is not required, i guess.
@Zainab: Ignoring is sometimes the only option, but a hard one.

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

Yeah one should do that in an ideal world, but the thing is there are certain aspects that demand you to be irrational in making the decisions, and well rationality has also got different angles depending upon who might be the stakeholder of the decision, so its not always your choice, sometimes you are expected to make decisions that are biased may be for the greater good.

Awais Amjad | 15 years ago

Yeah, its intention that matters, i think.

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

3 votes

Zainab Hussain | 15 years ago

We live in society, which has some rules that we have to follow, and we are answerable to some people to some extend so yes I do take my decisions according to some of the rules bcz see, it's not just about me, it's about my family, my parents and I can't let them down, actually its more about them, so at times I do make sacrifices and yes, my sacrifices have always been paid off, But that doesn't mean I go with the stupidity, It's like keeping a balance between what you think about a certain thing and what will people think about that same thing And there are times when you have to stop thinking about the world and have to live for your own self, and it depends on the issue that Im taking my decision about, But like I said, BALANCE is the best way : )

This answer has been edited by the user

Answered by: Zainab Hussain | 15 years ago

Comments

agreed

Awais Amjad | 15 years ago

True. May be, this is the sort of answer, I wanted to hear :)

Munahil Murrieum | 15 years ago

0 votes

Osama Afzal | 15 years ago

yea ... I do consider the advice of my parents and uncles ... and then think if i wana change my decision or not .. i discuss with them .. and they suggest me according to their loong life experience ... he is till now works positive for me :)

Answered by: Osama Afzal | 15 years ago

0 votes

HaroOn Dilshad | 15 years ago

I give damn care to what world says,but mum n dad,really they can stop me from doing anything,but they never do.Cuz i never fail to convince them; )

Answered by: HaroOn Dilshad | 15 years ago

0 votes

Nabeha | 15 years ago

Unfortunately YES .. Most of my decisions are based on opinions of others. But that doesn't mean I am 'log kya khaein gay' type. I only consider opinions of my close friends and family because these are the people who actually know.. What others think, doesnt matter :)

Answered by: Nabeha | 15 years ago

0 votes

Khawaja Naveed Haider | 15 years ago

Yeah sometimes... Not only by others but also by the use of technology. ;) ... I use foursquare and people left tips on different venues about what is better and what is worse or what to do etc... Your lack of interest and knowledge always influence your decisions. Well i don't put all my decisions on other, i do whatever i want to do.

Answered by: Khawaja Naveed Haider | 15 years ago

0 votes

Aana | 15 years ago

no, i only care about my family, its my life and i have a right to live the way i want

Answered by: Aana | 15 years ago

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