What is the concept of an 'achi bchi' in a typical Pakistani family?

Kanwal that differs family to family, the concept.
Parents are not easy to deal with, in most of the cases, in an environment where everything is changing so fast and they deny to be the part of new ways. In the middle to upper class parents they want every success and growth for their children but they are not ready to pay that price for the dream.

What I have grown to learn is that we muslims have to deal things differently. That's what makes us different from west. And as you will grow older you will be faced by more difficult situations than before and you shall have to learn to deal with those situations. Most of the times we keep asking why? why do they do that? why don't they understand? etc but you know what...we waste time in this frustration. I did. Rather we could learn dealing with them the way they want and doing what we want ;) we can actually be more productive :) After the 'clashes' I now believe that you cannot hurt them and be happy and enjoy whatever you are doing. You have to convince them, make them happy and then you will surely enjoy everything...that's the way it is.
Try to bring a little change in yourself (in dealing with them), you cannot change them...just a suggestion

Osama Shah has already mentioned the key points. Here, just few thoughts:

'Achi bachi' is an obedient bachi, who is not much of a trouble-maker, but is sensitive and intelligent enough to understand and silently follow certain 'rules and regulations'. If she does all this, she is respecting her elders and doing her duty as a daughter properly.

Problem: Often, children are expected to behave in a particular manner, but when it comes to parents themselves, they forget their duty or perhaps they think they know exactly what they are doing and what is best for their family members. We sadly do not have this 'simply-listen-to-others-once-and-try-to-understand-the-other culture', which creates further problems and conflicts. We have been taught to obey our elders, because they have seen far more of the world and know how bitter and evil life could be and human beings can get. Though, this might not be true in many cases and is not to be taken as any universal law; it nevertheless, holds weight. We often believe we know what is best for us and know how certain people are and how the world we live in is and functions - but, believe me - we mostly don't. Perhaps, the way our parents communicate their ideas to us does not suit our nature. I think, for parents it is a challenge too - they have raised their children from the very start and provided them with whatever they needed. They were supposed to guess what a child needs when s/he used to cry and as years pass by, they unconsciously feel that they understand their children as well as they used to and better than anyone else. Many do - many don't. It depends on the kind of relationship one has with ones parents.

Solution: When all my logic fails, meaning my convincing power seems to be of no use - I simply remind myself of what my parents have gone through just in order to keep me happy. That one thought shall be enough for anyone to change his/her mind. Happiness for me, lies in keeping my loved ones happy and I believe, that by hurting those who have been there for me all those years - I can never be happy. It is for sure not always an easy job, but good things aren't easily achievable either. :) It is a phase, dear Kanwal - we all have gone through it. Be patient and try to get closer to your parents and learn how to articulate your thoughts and feelings with politeness so that they get to know you better - all this, without hurting them.

Oops that's a sensitive issue, See every family has their own values and way to live the life, if the girl of that family follows those ways, she is a "achi bachi" thats the simplest way to define it according to me.

See, that's actually a generation gap, they way our parents were brought was different and now the time has changed it, but they don't understand it, I read somewhere (cant find the source to link now) that mostly parents apply the same rules on their kids that had applied on them when they were growing, So it's a circle. Why people find it bad when a girl stands for her rights now is bcz in the previous generations, they weren't doing it, there is always a comparison like " humare zamamnay me tu aesa nahi hota tha" or hum to aesa nahi kertay the" and this comparison create prbs. But see, what you can do is, voice your thoughts very humbly n politely, that always work, trust me, Im saying it from a personal experience : ) they might reject it once but wud give it a thought later.
Kanwal, your not the only one who is facing this situation, and trust me, if ppl dun consider you a "achi bachi" that DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL as far as you're at right, Good luck : )

I'd say it changes with time or atleast it did in my case, I being the second eldest kid in my home used to think that my parents never ask for or even listen to my opinion in any matter until I was 18 or 19 but always listened to what my elder sister had to say. Things changed altogether right about the time I was around 20, eversince, my decision on matters are generally regarded as final on almost all occasions. May be because I started deciding about matters on rational and logical grounds or perhaps got better at putting my thoughts on various subjects across the table in a more effective way.
The thing is, it is just natural for someone elderly to not welcome juvenile points of view. We can probably understand that better once we become parents ourselves (Just Saying), then again its always important to be polite and understanding the other person's position and stakes in any particular case and be patient yet assertive in giving your piece of mind.
I have yet to meet an educated and humble person who denied logic and reason. And I must say its always a good kid( acha bacha/bachi) who ponders over issues like these because only that kind of kids are bothered by these problems.
Needless to say, being older never means that you are always right unlike in military which suggests a two point theory on this (1) The Senior is always right (2) If the senior is wrong, refer to Point no. 1 :p
Jokes apart, Parents may have a lot of experience due to their age and life-long interactions with all kinds of people and matters, but that does not mean what they say is the final word but we do have an obligation towards them too, that asks us not to confront them in a harsh manner.
So one must try to be polite and silent when hears something illogical or atleast should try to do that, and convey his/her POV later when the moods are lighter and thus more understanding.

i dunno.. its different from family to family.. in our home, my lil sis is the boss. what she says, goes. my dad cant stand it when she takes a stand and he has to submit... as far as i am concerned, i lay down on, without any confrontation, whatever she wishes.. the only person stubborn with her is my little bro. he is the youngest and thus is entitled to his own special set of privileges.
i cant advise on this matter. but i feel its good to sometimes want things your way. I am a real acha bacha :P, but at times when i dont feel like it, i do flip my behavior for a while... and that too sometimes for just a change. But my family is accommodating.
There is a small suggestion however, i have noticed that just like kids get used to their elders, the converse is also true. so called transgressions are tolerated within a certain limit everywhere. and its the boundary of these little transgressions that you push slowly farther and farther everytime (e.g. staying away till night)... and your family will get used to it and wont complain, if done correctly. Thats atleast something i have tried successfully.

Well my answer wont be as long as others :) I think 'achi bachi' is one who is not only good at obeying her parents but also good in pretending in front of others. She talks only what others want to hear and do exactly what is expected from her . And I don't think I can ever be like that so I am not 'achi bachi' in our typical Pakistani context

Well I’ll rather see this thing in a different scenario; The problem/gap you have discussed in your case may arise in every relation, Coz these are the expectations (although they may vary from relation to relation) which tend us to believe that what other person is going to do will be just according to our expectations; if not exactly like what I said; at least everyone look forward to the same from others! ;)

As parents are the most beautiful and laudable relation in this universe so prospect is at its pinnacle; what parents expects from their children is to obey them at any cost and its exactly like we expect them to act like what we anticipate from them! Yes! The difference can be there in accepted wisdom of both the parents and children. But things needed to be understood and deciphered from both ends! It’s the duty of children to obey their parents in any case! I remember an idea of some Hadees Or Quranic verse(I beg your pardon don’t know exact but the theme is here): “Never ever disobey your parents unless they force you for sin of idolatry or polytheism” And it’s the foremost obligation of parents to fulfill all the responsibilities of their children and confer with them in every verdict regarding them. This will not only solve the problems on both ends but also will increase faith and assurance in between the relation.
And as far a An Achi Bachi is concerned; an achi bachi is the one who is the custodian of her parents trust and esteem in every walk of her life! That’s all! :)

ache bachi or acha bacha in my point of view is to behave like one ... obey your parents ... and also to convey your point of view to them and respect their opinion as well ... !
respect elders .. love youngsters ... Help mom in kitchen ... talk to father and discuss your problems ... !
Help other with their work ... serve food to guests .... etc etc ... !
its the certification after which u get a degree called "acha bacha" or "achi bache"

I think you have to recognize that first and foremost, they are your parents. They among all people deserve your utmost respect. In terms of not being understood, try not to explode right away. Parents are loving and they should be approached the same way. Your dad works hard and your mom too, and they are also human. There is a very diplomatic way of dealing with them. A calm way of explaining yourself. I think, in my experience, you just have to approach them when they are alone and tell them: "Mom/Dad, I need your help. I feel bad about something. I want you to listen to me. I want you to be with me while I deal with it." That way, they feel you are engaging them into your world and you can present your problem without touching the wrong buttons/nerves.

I hope that helps.

The one who knows the traditions and manners of the society.