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Question

4 votes

What is the concept of an 'achi bchi' in a typical Pakistani family?

Kanwal | 7 years ago

As long as I bring myself to say 'yes' when my parents say 'yes' and 'no' when they say 'no', and never try to give my opinion, or strictly speaking, open my tongue where it goes against the way they see things, I'm considered to be an achi bchi; nobody really cares if I'm frustrated or upset, all they care about is that I don't throw a tantrum even if I die frustrated. How come an achi bchi's supposed to keep her mouth shut in front of her elders even when they're being So unfair? And how come religion is so much exploited here? Its not like I belong to some real typical family but under all the educated, open-minded cover, the typical Pakistani parent is never going to change! Despite my constant best efforts I fail every now and then somehow and there comes a regular teenager-clash with my parents, even though I'm not an average trouble-teen. I'm frustrated and helpless!

Tags: Culture  Lifestyle  Relationships  Religion  Psychology 

 

Asked by: Kanwal | 7 years ago | Answers: 10 | Views: 5352

Answers

9 votes

Best Answer

Osama Shah | 7 years ago

Answered by: Osama Shah | 7 years ago

Comments
+1 Well said and I agree
Usama Hafeez | 7 years ago
Agreed +1
Awais Amjad | 7 years ago
Yes, you are right! Actually, what I've observed of myself is, that at the time one's feeling misunderstood, all one thinks about is 'why'd they do that?', ' how could they do that?', 'why don't they do it like this?' and so. But it also takes some depth and maturity to stop frustrating over things which are out of our control and learn to act and react in a way that makes Them satisfied. Your answer was very helpful though, thank you:) +1
Kanwal | 7 years ago
very well said i had no idea about this =)
Maniha Aamir Barry | 7 years ago

7 votes

Sumi | 7 years ago

Answered by: Sumi | 7 years ago

Comments
lol dont worry about that :p
Awais Amjad | 7 years ago
:P
Sumi | 7 years ago
Yes it's very helpful for me:) I'm really beginning to think I can actually Do all this;) but seriously, my point is that no matter how smoothly both parties try to deal, often logic Does fail. In those times, yeah, I figure we Have to compromise a little and try to understand and be patient. I suppose that'll mark me not only as an achi bchi, but mature, responsible and finally grown-up too;)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
and yeah, +1 :)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
great =D
Maniha Aamir Barry | 7 years ago

7 votes

Zainab Hussain | 7 years ago


This answer has been edited by the user - See changes

Answered by: Zainab Hussain | 7 years ago

Comments
I think if I'm being understanding and patient I might be able to take those 'humare zamane men esa hota tha/ nhen hota tha's but as it is, it becomes So hard to take, when I'm being a typical teen it irritates the hell outta me:) but seriously, after all these goody-good answers, I'm guna be good and patient now iA:) thanks for the luck!:) +1
Kanwal | 7 years ago
But zainab we always talk about only that the parents say "humare zamamnay me tu aesa nahi hota tha" but we never spent a mint thinking why they said that certain thing. there is only one perception in our mind that they're living in the past and there is generation gap thts becoming ever increasing.....
But if we spend a mint and think about it we'll get to know know that every parent wants the best for their children and they've been successful the way they worked at that time and doing certain thing and ofcourse because they listened to their parents. so rather than getting frustrated and pissed at them, we can try to convince them as well as try to take positive out of the things which they are suggesting us.
adnankhawaja | 7 years ago
@Adnan: good point, they are not always wrong. you shud post it as answer here +1
@kanwal: typical teen ? see that's main issue, your age, it happens in this age and inshAllah things will get better with time.
Zainab Hussain | 7 years ago
I realize the issue but I also try my best Not to be a typical teen all the time, but ofcourse I'm only human!:)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
agreed =D
Maniha Aamir Barry | 7 years ago

5 votes

Awais Amjad | 7 years ago


This answer has been edited by the user - See changes

Answered by: Awais Amjad | 7 years ago

Comments
yeah he did and is doing a remarkable job. I think he might be working on a feature or two alongside.The guy is very creative and logical so I definitely think he'll surprise us.
Bravo! Usama - The Man Behind Jawab
Awais Amjad | 7 years ago
:) thumbs up!
Sumi | 7 years ago
See, thank you:) Like I've already said, its bout time I become a perfect teenager;) +1
Kanwal | 7 years ago
Tareefain :PP More Hikmat for all of you, hehe kidding :P Thanks!
Usama Hafeez | 7 years ago
hahahahahaha :p
Awais Amjad | 7 years ago

3 votes

Ali Iqbal | 7 years ago

Answered by: Ali Iqbal | 7 years ago

Comments
When my natural teenage-instincts kick in, I always tend to think 'why' do they have a problem with whatever the hell I do? but I figure thats very much pointless. I gotta try my best to understand and do it Their way, that'll be good for me only:)
Kanwal | 7 years ago

3 votes

Nabeha | 7 years ago

Answered by: Nabeha | 7 years ago

Comments
there is always a first one :p
Sumi | 7 years ago
:))
Nabeha | 7 years ago
For one thing, of everything else, This is My type of answer;) Sumi's definition was perfect but this is the definition in my head.:) +1
Kanwal | 7 years ago
Actually when I put forward the question, it wasn't like I was unawares of the concept of an achi bchi, I just got very much sick of the stodgy concept. What I meant was, that shouldn't an achi bchi have a bit more space to herself?! Just because every once in a while she can't be as Silent as she is always expected to be, doesn't mean that changes her status. But also, 'do-learn-to-be-silent' and 'say-only-what-is-expected-of-u' lessons I've learned from all of these answers:):)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
Good to know that I could help :)
Nabeha | 7 years ago

3 votes

Naveed Javed | 7 years ago

Answered by: Naveed Javed | 7 years ago

Comments
well said!
Sumi | 7 years ago
I am agreeing 100% on the expectations part. That is exactly how it usually is. And I figure (and this is may be an effect of all the be-good be-patient answers;)) that rather than expecting Them to change their ways, I'd rather try to fulfill the expectations on My behalf! And as for your definition you know I am the custodian of their..whatever it was, trust and esteem!:p You know how much I actually care and am attached!:) +1
Kanwal | 7 years ago
Thank You!
Naveed Javed | 7 years ago
Yeah that's like a good kid! :P And as people say "I'm obviously Cooler than the girl next to you." ;) (Y)
Naveed Javed | 7 years ago

1 votes

Osama Afzal | 7 years ago

Answered by: Osama Afzal | 7 years ago

Comments
Actually when I put forward the question, it wasn't like I was unawares of the concept of an achi bchi, I just got very much sick of the stodgy concept. What I meant was, that shouldn't an achi bchi have a bit more space to herself?! Just because every once in a while she can't be as Silent as she is always expected to be, doesn't mean that changes her status. But also, 'do-learn-to-be-silent' and 'say-only-what-is-expected-of-u' lessons I've learned from all of these answers:):)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
i think speaking on the right time helps you ... ! and with parents i think ache bachi ke saath saaath u r friends with each other ... after your teens you can discuss everything with your parents .. i do the same .. main zid bhi karta hoo .. naraz bhi hota hoo .. but still i m acha bacha :)
Osama Afzal | 7 years ago
why after-the-teens?! :)
Kanwal | 7 years ago
before teens you cant joke with them .. cant argue on the right thing ... zid karke uske kaim nai reh sakte thay :p coz we were kids ... ! so now i m much closer to my parents and family ... :)
Osama Afzal | 7 years ago

1 votes

Aasiyah Espina | 7 years ago

Answered by: Aasiyah Espina | 7 years ago

0 votes

Khawaja Naveed Haider | 7 years ago

Answered by: Khawaja Naveed Haider | 7 years ago

Comments
knowing is one thing - obeying/following it is another :)
Sumi | 7 years ago
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